Class Mating

Back to school again, and the classes are already taking their toll on me small brain. You gotta be well read before you go the class...on the topic that is going to be covered in the class (so the prof doesnt have to work too hard??). There are marks for quizzes, marks for attendance (you dont get marks for attending, but you lose marks for not attending), marks for individual presentations, marks for group presentations, marks for mid terms, marks for end terms, and then there are marks for CP.

This CP is a very interesting concept. Basically CP stands for Class Participation. I dont need to explain to all your literate people what it 'ought to' mean and what it 'ought to' be. But then, its a bad bad competitive world out there. Everyone wants their share of airtime...and this means one needs to speak up when everybody else is also trying to do the same at the same time. Allow me to elucidate...

Darwin proposed in 1871 in The Descent of Man (obviously feminists werent a strong lobby then).."Males may fight amongst themselves, occasionally in dramatic battles to the death, to gain mating privileges with females. In comparison, female choice is generally much more subtle." At a conscious or subconscious level, we are all aware of it pretty early in life. As the real Slim Shady says...
"Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?"

In principle CP is a similar concept. Right from school all thru college, all students vying for the much coveted attention of the prof, hoping to make an impression,the profs ever so non-committal and subtle on which contestant is going to be in the good books that day.

The art and science of CP has evolved overtime. Batch after batch of students has tried to master and perfect CP. This evolution of CP has resulted in various forms of CP being present in the classroom today...and a classification is much called for. And THAT, is the purpose of this post. We are going to look at some of the categories that are identifiable, their subtle differences not easy to catch sometimes but with constant and careful observation, one can learn to identify the kind of CP whenever one sees it. Here is a humble attempt at such a classification...

1. CP or Class Participation: the purest form and the most rare. On the verge of extinction may be. There is not enough data to conclude it is still around.
2. ACP or Arbit CP: just comes out by chance, whim, or impulse, and not by necessity, reason, or principle.
3. BCP or Bullshit CP: having a mouth is reason enough to speak here.
4. FCP or Flood CP: for those modest ones who innocently just love the sound of their own voice. Once they start speaking, they find it difficult to stop and so it starts coming...and keeps coming...and coming..and coming.
5. KCP or KissAss CP: The Kama Sutra does not prescribe any one BEST position to do this...this has a lot of variations and generally gives satisfactory results with any party. e.g Does this sound familiar ?"I think you made a really good point there, Sir / Ma'am"...followed by .... ......................NOTHING.
6. JET CP or Just to Elaborate on This CP: You have a special gift of being able to say the same thing in 20 different ways by using different words(sometimes not even that), all 20 meaning the very same thing...and you consider it the good luck of the class that you have the impulsive and compulsive need to share this gift with them.
7. DCP or Desperate CP: Precious minutes have gone by..class approaching its end OR you have been making a futile attempt to think of something which adds value. Now that you dont have anything to contribute and time is fast running out, you say.......something....anything.
8. and last but not the least...After Class CP: the class is over and you couldnt get yourself to think of an iota of something which could add value. Not to worry, the prof is always up for grabs after the class :)

This is more or less my classification of CP. A dear friend of mine who has spent a lot of time in life looking for and collecting stuff to write / speak around this proposed another form which i am not putting here cos that would violate the confidentiality policy of my blog.

Well frends, it is up to us to choose which one of these to become a master of...but with daily practice, i believe you should be all set to make your mark in CP.